Spring Comes to Grahamstown

It's officially spring time here in South Africa and you can see signs of it everywhere. Trees, bushes, flowers….all are bursting into bloom all over campus. I'm intrigued by the different kinds of flowering plants they have here. All the colors are vibrant and the blossoms are enormous.

Again, its been awhile since I posted, sorry about that. I guess I don't feel like life is all that interesting, even in South Africa. It still seems to be routine. I go to class, do homework, watch t.v., hang out with friends, etc. It’s a powerful testament to the totality of Americanization that I am able to be 12,000 miles from the States and not even realize it on most days. But more on that in my next post...

Honestly, I've been having a pretty difficult time in the weeks since I returned from my trip to Cape Town. It's funny, they try to prepare you for the stages of culture shock before you leave for your program, but its impossible to fully understand the gravity of these feelings until you're plunged into your host culture. Even though I consciously tried not to have expectations of this experience, once they started not being met, I realized how many I did have. I expected to be fascinated by new things on a daily basis. I expected constant new and fun experiences. Instead, I am firmly entrenched in a ping pong match between the 2nd and 3rd stages of culture shock, disillusionment and readjustment.

Disillusionment stage: irritation, vulnerability, health issues can arise, stereotypes emerge, frustration with how new culture works, difficulties with communication (not just related to language proficiency)

Readjustment stage: adaptation to new culture, less chaos, development of deeper relationships with people in host country, more humor and more balance, more understanding and acceptance of differences

And it really is a roller coaster. On a daily, sometimes hourly basis, I bounce between being awed by the beauty of this country, shocked by blatant racism that is far too common, and outraged by the seeming mass chaos and confusion that comprises the Rhodes academic system. Often times I feel like I am failing at the whole study abroad process because I haven't developed deep relationships with people and I haven't made any moves into the mastery stage, which is more total assimilation, less feelings of being a foreigner. Also, sometimes I feel I'm failing because I don't seek out new experiences and conversations with locals as much as I think I should….because its easier to stay in my res and do homework and hang out with international students and stick to my routine.

After much reflection and discussion with friends, I've come to the conclusion that its impossible to fail at studying abroad. And that feeling of failure is the inherent problem with setting up expectations for this experience. I was expecting to change in drastic ways over this semester, instead I've become different in small, possibly imperceptible ways. For one, I've always felt that being an American was kind of boring and that we didn't have a distinct culture, just a melted conglomeration of many other cultures. Being here I have realized things that are inherently American, like our access to abundant resources that we take for granted, our knowledge and need of technology, our high value of good customer service, our efficiency and organization, even our sarcastic and sexual innuendo-heavy humor. But more than realizing we as Americans are unique, I've realized how strong my American identity is and how much I like having that identity. I've also realized just how blessed we are with an abundance of food, water, technology, and how many different options we have to choose from on everything from where to eat lunch to what pens to buy. We truly are the "land of plenty" and while I may not love every last thing about our country and the government, I am very firmly and proudly an American girl.